As the 2020 Major League postseason gets underway, we here at Fully Krausened have enlisted a crack team of mathletes to run the numbers on the upcoming series between the Chicago Cubs and Miami Marlins. So with no further ado, here’s what they came up with:
Last time the Marlins were in the postseason: 2003
Last time they played the Cubs in the postseason: 2003
Amount of times Steve Bartman will be mentioned in this series: 2003
Cubs run differential: 25
Marlins run differential: -41
Number of guys you can name on the Marlins without looking: -1 (You said Starlin Castro, but he’s on Washington)
Number of Marlins wins: 31
Number of Cubs wins: 34
OPS of lefthanded hitters against Marlins Game 1 starter Sandy Alcantara: .859
OPS of all hitters against Cubs Game 1 starter Kyle Hendricks in Wrigley Field: .493
Caught stealing percentage (in 20 tries) for Marlins Catcher Jorge Alfaro: 20
Number of times ABC announcers will mention Alfaro’s nickname is “El Oso”, or “The Bear”: 20
Number of steal attempts by the Cubs in this series: 20
Number of balls Marlins coach Juan Pierre will roll down the foul lines before games: 300
Number of different pitches Yu Darvish throws: ∞
Number of Gatorade bucket jokes that will be told about Marlins utility player Sean Rodriguez: ∞
Marlins team OPS: .703
Cubs team OPS: .705
Marlins team ERA: 4.86
Cubs team ERA: 3.99
Number of times “Yeah, Jeets” or giftbaskets get worked into recaps: 6
Number of times announcers will talk about the Marlins “overcoming the obstacles” of having a COVID breakout on their team: 215
Number of times the Marlins going clubbing, which led to the outbreak, will be mentioned: 0
Cubs in 2
Perfect.