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November. The writing community is all abuzz with National Novel Writing Month. The incel crowd is going their own way through their weird masturbation fast. Most of us will eat entirely too much slightly overcooked poultry and pass out in front of a football game a couple of Thursdays from now.
November is also “Movember”, where many people will choose to forego shaving parts of their faces in order to raise awareness for conditions that tend to affect people who also grow mustaches, such as prostate and testicular cancers, mental health, and suicide prevention.
If you’re interested in abandoning your razor to raise money or just to raise awareness for the campaign, you can sign up on the official Movember website.
November’s a little over a week old now, so some of you may already have your Mo well underway. You might even find yourself standing before the mirror wondering what shape your Mo should take. After all, we’re raising awareness for an important cause! You want to stand out in a crowd!
To help with your decision making, I’ve recruited some of my favorite mustachio’d baseball players to model for us some of the many options available to the hairy-lipped masses.
Feel free to take inspiration from the hirsute honeys displaying these stache styles:
1. The Horseshoe
2. The Captain Hook
3. The Mutton-Mo Combo
4. The Walrus
5. The Matching Eyebrows
It’s not something good, but it’s something.
6. The Custer
7. The Skinny
8. The Chevron
9. The Pencil
10. The Cat-Tail
No mo to grow? try the Got Milk?
I thought I’d never have to see that Fiers’s picture again and now it’ll def haunt my dreams tonight thank you IFG!!
FUCK YEAH DIRT TIDROW
The “Mutton-Mo” combo is known as the “Friendly Muttonchops”. It keeps the cheeks and upper lip warm whilst minimising the inadvertent collection of tiny pieces of boiled egg at breakfast.