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After the Cubs stunk out the entire city of Chicago in the first game of this evening’s doubleheader against the St. Louis Cardinals, they sent Tyson Miller to the mound for his big league debut in the nightcap. How did it go?

The Cubs got no-hit for five innings against a parade of guys making their big-league debuts until Willson Contreras banged an RBI double off the wall, and a walk later David Bote hit a three-run home run to snatch victory from the jaws of defeat, 5-4 over the casino enthusiasts from the Gateway to the West.

Let’s get to this:


Me frantically deleting and rewriting my recap as soon as I heard the loud “YEAH!” from the Cubs’ dugout as Bote’s home run went out to damn near the exact same spot as his walkoff grand slam from last season. Bote’s hit more clutch home runs than any Cub since Jim Hickman.

Ryan Tepera and Duane Underwood Jr. Both these guys came in when things started getting ugly, and settled the game down. Congratulations to Underwood for his first big league win.


Kyle Ryan coughed up back-to-back home runs to Brad Miller and Max Schrock – the guy who sounds like a character from “The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel” – he has had a couple real stinkers so far, but we got really spoiled by his consistency last season. He absolutely owes Bote a steak dinner.

Two bunts in the sixth inning, one by Kyle Schwarber for strike three, one by Ian Happ against a scuffling Genesis Cabrera. They both also owe Bote steak dinners.


In the top of the first, as the visitors in their own ballpark, the Cubs had the bases loaded on walks, and a wild pitch toHapp allowed Anthony Rizzo to score, and Schwarber had the bright idea of trying to score, and out by roughly the distance from here to Schenectady. So the inning ends without a ball put in play, a run in, a pitcher struggling and is able to escape. Great thinking.

Tomorrow night the Cubs only play one, and Yu Darvish is on the bump against these same human skidmarks. Eat fried chicken until death.

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  1. Yeah. Those bunts were weird.

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