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Brewers @ Cubs, 08/15

The Chicago Cubs welcomed the Brewers to Wrigley for game three of a four-game series. The Cubs started something called a Colin Rea that is 30 and hasn’t pitched in the bigs since 2016, when he pitched twenty games with an ERA of around 5. Woof. He was on a pitch count of between 50 and 60 pitches, so the chances, one way or another, of his leaving with the win were not good.

The Cubs jumped out to an early three-run lead with contributions from Rizzo, Happ, Schwarber and Kipnis, before the Brewers bats figured out Rea and that, combined with some less-than-stellar defense, led the Cubs to surrender the lead. It says here that Souza Jr. then hit a home run to tie the game but that can’t be right. Nonetheless, we went to extras, Garcia doubled home Yelich, the runner starting the 10th at second base, to re-take the lead, Urias added an insurance run with an infield single and although Happ brought home Almora from second in the bottom half, Claudio struck out Bote to end the threat. Cubs 4, Brewers 6. Never mind, Big Dick Jon will get ’em tomorrow.


Tony Ballgame’s big goofy fucking grin. He turned around the first pitch he saw into a wind-assisted oppo basket dong and I guess he’d called it before he left the dugout for the AB because as he rounded third he was laughing so hard I’m surprised he could see the bag to step on it. He added a double and a single and both the outs he did make were hit hard and I’m not sure I could love him any more than I already do.

Happ also continues to hit and is genuinely starting to look like he not only belongs in the Bigs, but that he’s going to be one of the better players there. Over his last thirty games he’s OPSing way over 1.000 and he made an outrageous play on a dipping line drive in the tenth to take a sure RBI away from Smoak. Good lad.

Kipnis making things happen – he (and Tony) made a nice defensive play to end the Brewers’ second inning, and he then immediately bunted against the shift for a single, and was gone on the crack of the bat to score from first on Rizzo’s double. You want GRIT, MOXIE and VETERAN LEADERSHIP? Kipnis has got them all right here *grabs crotch*.

Rea dropped two beautiful breaking balls on Smoak with runners on the corners to go to 0-2.

Jeffress in the ninth: bish, bash, bosh, three up, three down. Lovely job.


Oh, hey… remember Rea dropping those two beautiful breaking balls on Smoak with runners on the corners to go to 0-2? Well, fool if you thought it was over because the next breaking ball was a bit, fat doozy and Smoak didn’t need asking twice to send it on a mini-break to the wall in left-center field. Two runs scored and the Brewers were off the mark. Rassa fassa Rick Rastardley.

Javy letting the ball under his glove and into shallow left to allow Milwaukee’s tying run to plate. All he had to do was stop it, not make a play, but he whiffed. Kipnis did something similar in the 6th and although Braun was coming home for the run anyway, it did cost the Cubs a sure out. Neither was ruled an error, but you want to see those plays get made.

Mark Grace. Can we please just go back to Len and JD? Grace specialises in haltingly telling lots of stories about himself and clearly doesn’t believe in doing any prep for his gig. Today he regaled us with an awful tale about his ex-wife’s parking in which he repeatedly referred to her as “The Dingbat”. What the fuck is this shit doing on our screens? I wonder if he even knows he’s on TV?

Ryan coughed up back-to-back two-out walks in the fifth. Yeesh. He got out of it but only with a ꓘ that even he didn’t think was out – there was a slightly embarrassing moment when he was about to hold his glove up for the return ball from Contreras and instead nearly twisted an ankle pretending he’d been on his way to the dugout the whole time.

Hoerner getting thrown out stealing second for the third out with the count on Bryant 2-1. Presumably, he was under instructions and it took a perfect throw to nail him, but… aw, man.

Jeffress finally giving up a hit, and taking the loss. I guess it had to happen some time, right?


Ryan’s beard. He looks like he changed his mind three times in the barber’s chair. Along similar lines, Ben Gamel appears to be sleeping on a bench in the park these days.

Souza Jr’s dinger, which was wind-assisted and I swear was still the shortest possible home run you could ever hit in Wrigley.

Me, having to wait up for extra innings well after midnight Central European Time, just to watch the Cubs lose and post this stupid recap. You’re welcome.

Updated: August 15, 2020 — 5:59 pm

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