This weekend is the much-anticipated Cubs Convention. I mean, it’s anticipated by your average bologna-munching cretin or guy who’s one Quarter Pounder away from The Big One chasing dudes less than half his age for autographs.
The Ricketts family wisely decided to stay as far from this as possible – considering their offseason rigor mortis while the White Sox have sent tremors throughout the American League with a pretty sizable upgrade on their roster.
So whoever is there will have to polish this turd. David Ross will still get some 2016 love, and Kris Bryant could fuck up the entire confab by showing up late and rolling up in a Phillies cap. And there will be plenty of rumors. Everyone will wait for some sort of “big reveal” that will never happen. Don’t believe me? Find a picture of Nick Castellanos in street clothes and tweet out that you took the picture inside the Sheraton. Hilarity will ensue. Especially when everyone gets excited only to have Castellanos turn into Jason Kipnis.
Speaking of rumors, the Nelson Arenado nonsense will not go away. The Cubs have spent the last few years actually assembling something somewhat resembling a farm system. Why drain it out for a third baseman who makes $35 million a year when they have a perfectly fine third baseman they can pay $35 million a year?
Meanwhile, they’re going to have to shill for the Marquee network, which will only be available on AT&T U-Verse or DirectTV. Not Comcast, who they jilted to start this network, and is Chicago’s largest cable provider. Great work.
The real party will be the following weekend at SoxFest. The anger of Cub fans will give way to the unbridled optimism of Sox fans at McCormick Place. The rebuild is at the point where results are going to be expected. It won’t be easy, even with the well-documented shitstorms in Houston and Boston. But if it were easy it wouldn’t be as much fun.
So this could be the Freaky Friday season where the White Sox become the toast of the town while the Cubs become the organization that is desperately clinging to the memories of one magic season. Great for us, since we cover both teams. But the Cubs are going to learn the hard way that you can’t own the city without paying for it.
But we could have been sitting in a golden era of pennant contenders on both sides of town – I mean, can you imagine being a baseball fan in NYC from 1949-1958? Every year at least one of the NY teams was in the Series, and six of those years it was the Yankees against either the NY Giants or Brooklyn Dodgers. Could you imagine this city having that kind of run?
But it sure as hell doesn’t look like it’s going to happen here. Second City once again.